Yin/Yang Volume II (courage)

Courage: Hope vs Despair

Destruction and limitation are aspects of universal design. On the human level, it is this aspect of existence that is the generation of all suffering. When things we love (people, pets, ideas, objects, dreams) are destroyed or injured it produces suffering. When our creative expansive energies are stiffled or blocked, or our ability to manifest our internal intentions into the external world is overpowered, we encounter the suffering of limitation.

We cannot Love without Grief, and we cannot Grow without the pressure of opposition. These forces are constantly pushing against our will to expand and move forward with a plan, and often we lose much more than we win.

Courage is necessary to face our failures head on, and push forward against the resistence that obstacles cause. I used to believe Hope was about doubt vs faith but now I see those a different concepts entirely. Hope is the courage to risk loving life despite the eternal heart break of inevitable grief and loss.

These next two poems describe my experience with hope, despair and courage.

Darkness

Bi-polar (Shadow, Despair, defeat)

Life for me is waking up everyday afraid of my own mind.
Fearing what pain I can inflict on myself unintentionally.
Sometimes I think sanity is a concept made by crazy people
In a despreate attempt to believe they’re not crazy.
People tell me that it will get better, that one day
if I work hard enough I will live happily
Fools they don’t understand, they don’t understand that
it’s the pressure and work that defeats me
Life is far more scarier than death, when you die
the light that blinds you shuts off and the world exists as it should be.
They say there is a reason to live but I haven’t found it
worse yet I haven’t found a reason to die either, its as if
my mind refuses to make a choice, forever stuck in conflict.
The hardest thing is seeing everyone happy and enjoying the suffering
Why can’t I smile that stunned ignorant smile and say I’m one of you?
Why can’t I surrender my mind to some other master and rid
myself of this fight? Take it if you want it I can part with it.
Gentle star that gives me hope, shed light on me
Fill me with the strength to go on in this, to make it right
End the wars and silence the parties, I’m done for today
I have thought on my own to much and the sickness is comming back
The smell is pungent and I can feel the suffication,
Can someone speak to me with the mouth of reason
Tell me that I’m alright, that I am making this world up
Lie to me if you have to, I no longer care about the details.

By Darryl (Daristotle) McMillan (Circa 2005-2006)

Woman hands praying for blessing from god on sunset background

Death Of A Martyr (Light, Hope, Ego Death)


Among these eyes of mine does gleam
The sweet memories of a dream
Within the heart of my minds eye glows
Upon my face the cold wind blows

Within these fields of flowery blue
Is all the grass in covered dew
To these memories that belong to me
And to these paintings I can see

Walk in my mind with great desire.
Stay a while; sit by the fire.
The rose lays glowing above my head.
I realize now that I am Dead

I float off soft into the sky
And watch my angel mother cry
I grabb my chest and sobe away
And feel the freedom of this day

The stones of green above my grave
Reminds those that have been saved
That when a hero passes on.
One of natures children gone.

And now I live strong and proud
within my bed upon on a cloud
I dangle in the summer sun
I feel so gold and yellow young.

The pain of mine has been released
The anger gone and fear has ceased.
I look upon the blankets creased.
And Sigh the sigh of heritics Leased.

My tears of flowing fluid green
Compell the actors of this scene
To cry above the coffin made
and say goodbye with hours bade.

The swan thats swimming in my pond
has given to me a sacred bond.
upon this death I will dismay.
The happenings of my way.

Beneath these stars of glittering light
I see the maiden of the night
Telling me to have no fear
asking me to dry my tears

Upon these words my spirit rest.
Upon the angels firly breast.
I pass though these golden gates
A life of mystery for me awaits.

By Darryl (Daristotle) McMillan (Circa 2005-2006)

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